who i am, part three: knitter

i am so proud of this

though i haven't been doing much lately (see who i am, part one: mama), my other passion is knitting.  about eight years ago, when i was working at borders, i started to notice that the new knitting books coming in had some pretty awesome stuff in them.  i formed a vague ambition to learn how to knit.  i must have expressed said notion to my mother-in-law, because she gave me debbie stoller's stitch 'n bitch one christmas, along with some number eight needles and worsted weight yarn.  the first night, i sat there squinting at the pictures and trying to figure out how exactly to get from point a to point b.  i ended up giving up, totally frustrated, and went to bed.  but i couldn't stop thinking about it.  i fell asleep thinking about it, and in my dream, i was back on the couch with the needles in my hand, trying to knit.  somehow it came to me how to do it.  the next morning, when i tried again, it worked!  i made a stitch!  once i figured it out, i was off and running.  then i made an even greater discovery: yarn stores.  like, real yarn stores, with bins full of delicious yarns in the most beautiful and rich colors and textures.  i say delicious because it evokes a feeling in me similar to hunger, i just want to eat it, stick my face in it and breath it in.  i don't, of course, that would make me like the guy who eats books at the library, and i'm not quite that crazy yet.  eventually i got bored with scarves, hats, & fingerless gloves and moved on to more interesting things like cupcakes and donuts and snakes.  a few years ago, i knit a hand grenade from a pattern, and while i loved the idea, i hated the pattern.  so i decided i would make my own grenade.  that was my first original design, followed naturally by the bomb.  i now have four designs, and my goal is to have a book-full of them ready to publish by the time i hit forty.  i love libraries, but it would also be really fun to make a living with my knitting.  a girl can dream, anyway.

who i am, part two: librarian

i used to work in bookstores.  i had a boss who liked to call me "commie" because of my socialist-leaning political views and my love of soviet-era aesthetics.  he would also refer to libraries as "communist institutions."  why did it take me so long to make the connection?  i really liked my job, except for the low pay and the whole selling thing.  then i realized that i could do the same job, plus more interesting and meaningful things, loan the books instead of sell them, and get paid more, too.  so i went to library school.  you might ask why i decided to enter what some consider a dying profession.  well, i don't believe that it is dying.  libraries are not just book repositories, and haven't been for a long time.  they are places where everyone, regardless of socioeconomic status, can find information, use a computer, study, attend fun and/or informative programs, meet with a tutor, take their children to storytime and other activities, and more, all for free.*  yes, libraries are changing, but they have always been dynamic institutions that evolve according to the needs of their communities.  back in the day, the argument was about whether to include such "trash" as charles dickens; now no one would question his place in the library, and the argument is onto issues like video games and ebooks.  people who think libraries are dying (or should be dying) are the people who haven't stepped foot into a library since they were kids, if ever.  they seem to have no clue that many, many people use library services, either in person, over the phone, or online.  you can access library databases from your smartphone, or download ebooks for free directly onto your kindle or ipad.  but the real answer is that i do this job because i love it, i'm good at it, and i think it's an important thing to do.


*yes, i know it's not really free, but it's one of many awesome services you pay for with your taxes, like schools and roads and police.  

who i am, part one: mama

though i was ambivalent about having kids, now that i have one i'm so glad he's alive!  we call him gus, and sorry everybody else, he is clearly the cutest baby in the history of everness.  of all the things i've made, he was the easiest and most fun.  making him was the easy part, getting him out of my body not so much.  i'm proud to say i managed it without the use of drugs; nothing was ever more painful or more worth the pain.  his smiles make my heart hurt.

happy bomb knitting pattern

the happy bomb is a fairly quick project, and super fun to throw around.  they make great gifts for both kids and adults.  it’s fairly simple; skills required are: knitting in the round on double-pointed needles, increasing, decreasing, and i-cord.  for help with abbreviations, see knitty.com’s list of standard abbreviations

materials:

• worsted weight yarn (i used cascade 220 in black, teal, and pink, and caron simply soft in white)
• US#5 (3.75mm) double-pointed needles
• polyester fiber fill

gauge doesn’t really matter here, so long as the stuffing doesn’t show.

finished dimensions: approx. 6″ tall, 5″ wide, 13″ around

main body:

CO 6 stitches in black

divide among 3 double-pointed needles, place marker, and join in the round

Round 1: kfb to end (12 sts)
Round 2 & all even rounds through 24: knit
Round 3: *k1, kfb*, repeat to end (18 sts)
Round 5: *k2, kfb*, repeat to end (24 sts)
Round 7: *k3, kfb*, repeat to end (30 sts)
Round 9: *k4, kfb*, repeat to end (36 sts)
Round 11: *k5, kfb*, repeat to end (42 sts)
Round 13: *k6, kfb*, repeat to end (48 sts)
Round 15: *k7, kfb*, repeat to end (54 sts)
Round 17: *k8, kfb*, repeat to end (60 sts)
Round 19: *k9, kfb*, repeat to end (66 sts)
Round 21: *k10, kfb*, repeat to end (72 sts)
Round 23: *k11, kfb*, repeat to end (78 sts)
Round 25: *k38, kfb* twice (80 sts)
Rounds 26-29: knit
Round 30: *k38, k2tog* twice (78 sts)
Round 31 & all odd rounds through 45: knit
Round 32: *k11, k2tog*, repeat to end (72 sts)
Round 34: *k10, k2tog*, repeat to end (66 sts)
Round 36: *k9, k2tog*, repeat to end (60 sts)
Round 38: *k8, k2tog*, repeat to end (54 sts)
Round 40: *k7, k2tog*, repeat to end (48 sts)
Round 42: *k6, k2tog*, repeat to end (42 sts)
Round 44: *k5, k2tog*, repeat to end (36 sts)
Round 46: *k4, k2tog*, repeat to end (30 sts)
Rounds 47-52: *k1,p1* to end

Stuff

Round 53: purl
Round 54: *k3, k2tog* to end (24 sts)
Round 55: knit
Round 56: *k2, k2tog*, repeat to end (18 sts)
Round 57: knit

Finish stuffing

Round 58: *k1, k2tog*, repeat to end (12 sts)
Round 59: knit
Round 60: k2tog, repeat to end (6 sts)

Break yarn, leaving a 10″ tail. thread through remaining stitches and back through the center hole, straight down to the bottom.  tie a small knot, close to the surface, then pull back up through center so the knot goes through to the inside.  this will give the bomb a nice rounded look and a flattish bottom to rest on. Weave in CO end.

fuse:

with white yarn, work i-cord for approx. 5.5″ and bind off.  sew onto top of bomb.

face:

embroider as desired with yarn scraps.

enjoy!

variation: to "light" the fuse, simply switch to fun fur in orange for the last few rows of the icord.